Resilience

How to keep going, no matter what.

I don’t surf Facebook often, but today I was disturbed to read a post from a man expressing heartbroken anguish over a career development that had led him to consider taking his own life. He was screaming out to the world that if things didn’t go the way he wanted, he was going to commit suicide.

Though I had never messaged with this gentleman before, I felt the need to reach out and tell him:

Life is happening for you, not to you.
Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Even when it’s dark.
Even when you can’t see the way forward.
Even when things feel impossible.
Even when you think you can’t go on.

This is rock bottom. Many of us have been there—some of us multiple times—because perhaps we didn’t learn the lesson the first time. This is life school, and the lessons keep coming, whether you want them to or not.

The key is to learn how to consciously create your experience. Otherwise, your life will feel like it’s happening to you (as if you had nothing to do with it), instead of happening for you—as you designed it. (Most people design unconsciously.)

In his bestselling books, former Navy SEAL David Goggins talks about the quitter’s mind. It’s in all of us. It’s the voice that tells you to give up because it’s too hard to keep going. Goggins teaches that when you think you’re ready to give up, you’re only 20% of the way there. I was grateful to find Goggins’ work early in my healing journey, and I still think of his lessons often.

In a YouTube short I saw today, Dr. Deepak Chopra talks about the dark night of the soul—a time in life when you feel the pressure, anxiety, and hopelessness of not knowing who you are or why you are. Maybe you’ve lost a job, a relationship, a loved one, or a part of your body. Maybe you’re struggling with purpose. The dark night of the soul is that moment when you've lost your identity—having lost connection to the things you thought were your identity.

This time often precedes an awakening—a realization that you are not actually the things you’ve identified with for so long. You are something so much more.

Yogi mystic Sadhguru teaches: It’s all in the mind. Is your mind working for you or against you? If you are so identified with something you are not that you’re willing to take your own life over it—I understand. I empathize. But I urge you: get to know the voice in your head that’s saying these things.

That voice is not you.

It is your ego—a composite of your past thoughts, fears, doubts, and habits that you’ve mistaken for your true self.
(For more on this, see my post: Your Ego.)

To believe that your ego, your identifications, or your quitter’s mind is you means your mind is not working for you.

Remember: you are not your mind. You are the awareness of it.

It is not you.
You are not it.
You are something so much more.

Open your heart to your higher self. Love yourself. And know that whatever is happening (even if you don’t want or prefer it) is still happening for you.

Wonder how and why, and answers will begin to appear.

And by the way—if the answers that appear sound like:

“Because I’m worthless. I’m no good. I’m not enough. I’m a piece of shit. Nobody likes me…”

Those are not true answers.
Those are the voice of the ego.

Go deeper.
Be patient.

Whether we know it or not, we are all co-creating our lives with God, Universal Mind, Source Energy—whatever you want to call it. The sooner you become conscious of that, the sooner you can make choices that work for you. The sooner you can begin dreaming your life into being, no matter how impossible the circumstances may seem.

With awe, love, and respect for your journey,
Aaron

Disclaimer:
I, Aaron Lazar, am not a licensed mental health professional. The content shared on this platform is for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, or thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek help immediately from a qualified mental health professional or contact a crisis support line in your area.